Patience is a virtue! I am not feeling very virtuous today. The surgeon is not able to fit me into the schedule for two weeks. !@#! It seems as if I have been waiting forever. Realistically, a two week wait does not seem like much, but emotionally it feels like forever.
I am ready. The hair is permed, the laundry done, things located in higher positions around the house, so that I do not have to bend over. I am having trouble distracting myself from the pain, but I have no choice.
So I am living in the land of Star Trek Voyager. This was my favorite Star Trek show. I am lounging in the ship with the doctor, Neelix, Seven of Nine, and the many others. I know many men who loved this show because of Seven of Nine. Her ‘attributes’ are the stuff of legend. (wink, wink, nod, nod) However, I do not care about these said attributes, but enjoy her interpretation of the character as resident Borg.
Thank goodness for Netflix streaming, which is allows me to find many things to watch when I cannot sleep. Hooray! I love the 21st century and all of its technology.
Please wish a speedy two weeks for me. Thanks.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Hair
What is it about women and our hair? Whether we have a lot or a little, it is never good enough! Mine is longer than normal right now since I took a break from perms. A friend recently said how great it looked this way and thinks I should reconsider an upcoming perm. Interesting! I hate my hair like this. It is lank, messy, heavy, hot, and unruly. I think it is a pain to work with. My husband thinks it is lush, soft, and wonderful and would love for me to grow it down to my waist. Ha.
I mentioned that I would be perfectly okay with him growing his down to his waist, but that I didn’t want to mess with mine at this point in my life. Perhaps he could grow his nose or ear hairs out!! He mentions how lovely my tresses were when we met (41 years ago) and it isn’t fair that I cut it. I mentioned that he had hair then also. If he grows his back maybe I will take a stab at it. He is semi-bald and beautiful, but unless he wants to join the Hair Club for Men, it is unlikely that we will ever have long locks together. Love that man. Bring on the perm.
I mentioned that I would be perfectly okay with him growing his down to his waist, but that I didn’t want to mess with mine at this point in my life. Perhaps he could grow his nose or ear hairs out!! He mentions how lovely my tresses were when we met (41 years ago) and it isn’t fair that I cut it. I mentioned that he had hair then also. If he grows his back maybe I will take a stab at it. He is semi-bald and beautiful, but unless he wants to join the Hair Club for Men, it is unlikely that we will ever have long locks together. Love that man. Bring on the perm.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Quiet Solitude
Sometimes there is nothing like silence. I love my solitude to be so quiet that I can hear the sounds of nature without the pounding of a hammer or the jet plane flying over. Today the rustle of the leaves as the wind blows through them, is especially enticing. It makes me feel calm. My doggie is sleeping, the TV is off, the sky is blue, and I feel so incredibly relaxed. I am puttering and do not have anything pressing. This is a moment in time to be relished!
Frame of Mind
So when the body quit working, the creative writing juices dried up! Life continues anyway, and I am finding my way.
The last year has been filled with lack of mobility and pain. This was not totally unexpected given my diagnosis, but the reality is different than the expectation. Things seemed hopeless for a while but I have this will of iron which I inherited from my mother. If I can survive the death of my beloved son, then I will not be victim to the dysfunction of my body. I may not be able to do everything I want, but I can continue to live again.
Much of moving past the “cannot” in life is frame of mind. I have found that staying in the self-pity mode will not work for me. It can be a comforting place of ‘not fair’ for a period, but before long it is easy to start drowning in despair. I have visited the land of despair before and do not ever want to go there again.
It is delightful to be living in the 21st century. I am receiving state of the art and up to the minute Neurological Stimulation Therapy, which involves placement of electrodes in my spine and a very small battery located near it. It is a bit like a pacemaker for the spine. The electrical current displaces the pain, and leaves a vibration feeling in the back, legs, and feet, instead of the nerve burning. It also is unlocking the muscles and allowing for much improved walking and standing. The final surgery will take place in a couple of weeks. I am just completing the trial now.
I have never wanted this blog to be sad and serious, but sometimes life can be serious. This wonderful technology will allow me to start over physically. I can exercise again. I always loved to walk and swim, and perhaps some of that will come back into my life. Maybe I can once again just run into a store to pick something up without having to use a scooter. A little shopping would be fun! I might even go back into the work world. I can see new vistas in the horizon.
I feel blessed with the outstanding medical care being directed at me from amazing doctors. I am surrounded by loving family and friends and am fortunate to have medical insurance. There are many things to be grateful for, and I know it. I will continue to deal with physical issues as they may arise. Hopefully the creative juices are returning and this will be the first of a new series of postings.
The last year has been filled with lack of mobility and pain. This was not totally unexpected given my diagnosis, but the reality is different than the expectation. Things seemed hopeless for a while but I have this will of iron which I inherited from my mother. If I can survive the death of my beloved son, then I will not be victim to the dysfunction of my body. I may not be able to do everything I want, but I can continue to live again.
Much of moving past the “cannot” in life is frame of mind. I have found that staying in the self-pity mode will not work for me. It can be a comforting place of ‘not fair’ for a period, but before long it is easy to start drowning in despair. I have visited the land of despair before and do not ever want to go there again.
It is delightful to be living in the 21st century. I am receiving state of the art and up to the minute Neurological Stimulation Therapy, which involves placement of electrodes in my spine and a very small battery located near it. It is a bit like a pacemaker for the spine. The electrical current displaces the pain, and leaves a vibration feeling in the back, legs, and feet, instead of the nerve burning. It also is unlocking the muscles and allowing for much improved walking and standing. The final surgery will take place in a couple of weeks. I am just completing the trial now.
I have never wanted this blog to be sad and serious, but sometimes life can be serious. This wonderful technology will allow me to start over physically. I can exercise again. I always loved to walk and swim, and perhaps some of that will come back into my life. Maybe I can once again just run into a store to pick something up without having to use a scooter. A little shopping would be fun! I might even go back into the work world. I can see new vistas in the horizon.
I feel blessed with the outstanding medical care being directed at me from amazing doctors. I am surrounded by loving family and friends and am fortunate to have medical insurance. There are many things to be grateful for, and I know it. I will continue to deal with physical issues as they may arise. Hopefully the creative juices are returning and this will be the first of a new series of postings.
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