Today would be 19
years since Alex died so suddenly in a car crash. There is nothing new to say about that,
but I wanted to talk a little about some memories of him.
I remember how much
he loved pizza. He was a wiry dude, but tried to live on the stuff. So much
like his dad in his own youth, who could eat anything (constantly) and it would
just burn off. Wish my body would do that!
One night I was actually able to bribe him with pizza to get the scoop about a young lady. Of course, he made it deliverable immediately but then spilled his heart out to mom. He was about 16 at the time, and I remember this conversation vividly.
Alex had a big crush
on Mariah Carey and loved her singing. We even played one of her songs at his
funeral. He also just loved music and could sing along with anything. His voice
was not great (just like me), but he didn’t care. He was trying to learn how to
play the guitar and would jam with his friends. That was an interesting sound. J
Alex was family
oriented. He loved his little brother and was fiercely protective. That is not
to say that they never had sibling rivalry, but it wasn’t a big thing. I
remember they were wrestling in the hallway and Morgan was already bigger than
Alex. Alex came away with a black eye, and we told him if he was going to mess
with the grizzly he was going to have wounds. He died with remnants of that
black eye, but it is a sweet memory because they were not fighting, just
rough-housing.
Our boys were very
close, and we know they would have been friends were Alex still here. That is a
great sadness to not witness this bond into later years.
He was a loyal
friend, family young man, and very, very funny, with a dry humor that could
double you over. He was gentle, kind, loving, and we still miss him.
One would think that
19 years would lessen the pain. Certainly the pain of his absence is not all
encompassing, as it once was, but my heart still yearns to hold my first
born. This pain never leaves, but I have
learned to live with it and not dwell in it.
*Alex with black eye*
Those who knew Alex
will never forget him. Those who didn’t know him personally have come to know
him through our stories and memories. May his memory linger as a gentle soul
who left us too soon.
