There is a Beatles song called “A Long and Winding Road.” That would describe this last year for me. Going time and time again to a surgery center for steroid shots in the spine; didn’t really work out. But there is no shortcut to the final lap. I had to see a psychologist before the permanent installation of the neuro stimulator and was fit to be tied about the delay and perceived absurdity of having to go through this indignity. During the entire year+, I mostly lived in a chair because standing and walking were beyond difficult. Even sitting and lying down were extremely painful. Unless I learned to fly something had to happen soon. I was not graced with great patience when told that the insurance company demanded psych exams for anyone looking toward this procedure.
Finally the big day arrived. Yea! There was a three hour delay because hospitals do not run on time. In itself this wouldn’t have been a big problem except I was on a hard bed, in extreme pain, dressed in a paper gown. I did ask them to hold off on the IV’s so that I wouldn’t have to schlep down the hallway in my lovely outfit to visit the bathroom.
The big moment slowly crept up on me. I woke up with a high tech object in my hip, connected to internal wires that were inserted into my spine. I have a remote control; the bionic woman anyone! The night in the hospital was not great, but that was to be expected. Beyond that things appeared to be working great and the surgical pain was bearable.
However, being me there had to be a hiccup. After 10 days I needed to charge my internal unit with an outside charger. This is no big deal. It sits against the skin and does its thing. But mine would not charge. It didn’t matter what they did. So for the first time in my neurosurgeon’s history of installing these units (100’s), he had to go in and change the placement. My body had built up a fluid pocket around the internal unit. @#$%@!! So two weeks after the first surgery, I had to return for a full throttle second surgery. So now I have a 4” scar on my middle spine, and two horizontal scars on my lower back at the hip. Guess my modeling days are over.
This neuro-stimulator is doing its job well. I am very happy with the result. But I do now know why they had the psychological exam. I have had moments where I slightly panicked by knowing that my pain management and mobility is dependent on a ‘thing’ in my body. This is probably something which comes up often when a person has a foreign object inserted into their body. Pacemaker’s come to mind. While my life is not dependent on the stimulator, as with pacemakers, my ability to live my life is affected.
Now I am learning how to function with/and use the remote control for the amount of stimulation I need to move without agonizing pain. I am very grateful to modern technology, medical insurance, and the continuing support or my husband, family, and friends. I am also in physical therapy to regain strength and stamina after such a long period of enforced inactivity.
I am starting the New Year with a much improved outlook. Happy New Year everyone! I hope 2012 is good to you.
