More Changes

I wrote about change before and wished for positive change. It has arrived. John went back into full-time work and is very happy about it. I miss him being here during the day, but I will find a new way to manage my days. At first depression sneaked up on me and gave me a couple of bad days; or at least that is what I thought. Magically, it seemed like, I woke up today and felt renewed and better. I think the days of trepidation and depression were more about wrapping my arms around change, once again.

There are psychological tests which consider any change, good or bad, to be challenging to the psyche. Basically, we do not like change at our deep levels. So even a good change can rock the boat of stability. I have been rockin’ away, because that is how I cope. Sure wish a good shopping trip, or meditation, or an excellent book would replace the rocking boat. They cannot. It just takes a little time to adjust, and I think that positive change is a lot easer to assimilate than negative change. So my little boat has jumped the slip and sailed out to sea. The waters are calm and so am I.

I wrote this after a bit of reflection. It is time for me to let things go and do a lot of self care. I think this poem was just the push I needed. It came from that place inside where we know what is true for us. So while the poem seems sad, it is really more of a major thrust into my future. Because the future is now; today. I am yesterday's future and tomorrow's past, and it is time for me to seize the moment. Seize it with me.

I’m tired.

No more waiting

No more too early

Or too late.

Now.

Be true to me,

No one can take care of me,

except me.

Now is the time.

Today.